My best fear whilst the years passed ended up being that my partner might perish first. Having had no young young ones, the idea of my better half dying very first and me personally being kept alone on the planet ended up being one thing i just couldn’t keep.
Also me behind was unbearable if I had had children, the idea of my best friend, lover, business partner and companion leaving.
About it– or when the thought came to mind, I just banished it as quickly as I could so I didn’t think.
Then my fear that is greatest arrived real.
Philip had been identified as having belly cancer tumors in 2010 october. We’d 14 months together out of this true point, which, instead interestingly, became among the best several years of our wedding.
We had been forced into surviving in the ‘present moment’ far more than we had ever been. Being outcome, we discovered a higher depth of love, joy and comfort.
Then again he did die. And I also ended up being kept alone.
Another surprise set in watch for me, however. I ran across that driving a car I skilled experienced had been exactly that – a projection of ideas into the next that I didn’t wish.
I coped when it actually came to pass. We handled. I unearthed talents in myself I experienced maybe not expected prior to.
Unfortunately, however, we also unearthed that we have been withholding love from Philip without realizing it. When this occurs, we promised that then i would make a point of keeping my heart fully open all the time if i were fortunate enough to have another relationship one day.
If you’re afraid to be abandoned, to get all down with a heart available to love appears like a angry concept – it is counter-intuitive.